#Eddie izzard flag full#
#Eddie izzard flag plus#

They’re all going round in summer shirts going, “Jesus Christ. OK, and you don’t tell tourists about, er.

#Eddie izzard flag full#

San Francisco, full of fucking snakes! (Hisses) We did that at school. No other cities have snakes as much as you. (Hisses) Everyone goes to a gig with a snake in their bag. (Audience hissing) And you’re a city of snakes, I see. Fuck it.” Or what’s the other one? Frisco, you don’t like that, either. I didn’t know, I would’ve said San Fran but you’d go, “We don’t like San Fran. # San Francisco, San Francisco! ? Not San Fran, no, apparently not. If women fall over in heels, that’s embarrassing but if a bloke falls over in heels, you have to kill yourself. Yes, I’m a professional transvestite so I can run about in heels and not fall over. ‘Tonight’s show is brought to you by the prisoners of Alcatraz.’ ‘Once an island paradise, now a penitentiary. ‘And a big thing at the back that looks like a monster. ‘Freddie and Jeff Stinger here, famous bank robbers, ‘being taken to Alcatraz at the end of their life. ‘The prisoners are led off, off to Alcatraz ‘as special FBI agents check the prison transportation vehicle ‘to make sure no one has Sellotaped themselves to the ceiling ‘or hidden underneath, disguised as a wheel. ‘FBI agent looks on as the woman in red stares – in terror. ‘Freddie Dingo there, a few wise words from him. ln 30 years I’ve found out people from everywhere are all the same.

#Eddie izzard flag plus#

‘How tight can chains be pulled, for God’s sake? Alcatraz.’ I started here in ’65 and I got 30 years plus a few months. ‘The FBI woman takes a close-up photo of somebody’s kneecaps. Pris… Pris… ‘People holding on to bananas as more drugs money is exchanged ‘for favors and drugs, mainly. ‘Prisoners coming, coming, coming through. ‘As the FBI agent takes photos of likely troublemakers, ‘the guard signals again – “for God’s sake, prisoners coming!” ‘Coming now. ‘Gallows humor, yes, it happens in all prisons. ‘What a hellish crime! ‘She will never see her family again. ‘The woman in red, she’s in for stealing hubcaps. ‘Everyone here is in for a big old crime. ‘”You can’t afford any till Tuesday.” ‘Yes, drugs are rife. He tightens the chains ‘as the man in the back says, “No more drugs for you. ‘But now a prison, as the guard tightens the chains ‘and signals to the people and prison wardens of Alcatraz – ‘prisoners coming, prisoners coming! ‘The torture gear there. ‘Once a Native American paradise, ‘where people worshipped the gods of the Native Americans. ‘I’m taken in their prison transportation, down, down, ‘towards Alcatraz. ‘Criminals who look quite ordinary ‘but are more criminal than you could ever guess. ‘And convicts.’ (# Spooky modern jazz) ‘Criminal element.